Sunday, August 07, 2005

Taking This Blog To The Next Level

Anyone who watches American cinema and TV with regularity knows how dismally repetitive and unoriginal it is. If one police procedural succeeds, there will ten ripoffs just like it, like "CSI: Special Victims Unit" and "Law & Order: Dick Wolf Wants To Buy Algeria." As of August 2005, here were the one-hour police procedural shows that were aired by one of the four biggest broadcast networks:

Cold Case
Crossing Jordan
CSI
CSI: Miami
CSI: New York
Law & Order
Law & Order: Criminal Intent
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
Law & Order: Trial By Jury
NCIS
NUMB3RS (sorry that is how they write it)
The Inside
Without A Trace

Thirteen shows about cops or FBI agents! And I probably missed one or two. I'm not counting "Cops" and "America's Most Wanted" which aren't scripted and more comedies than dramas anyway (watch a reenactment on AMW and tell me that isn't a comedy).

If all the law-enforcement shows on my list were real, every third person in the United States would be murdered...in one season.

Not that the TV goons are morons, just unoriginal. Look at the top ten ratings for July 25-31:

1 - CSI, CBS, THUESDAY, 9 P.M.
2 - WITHOUT A TRACE, CBS, THURSDAY, 10:01 P.M.
3 - CSI: MIAMI, CBS, MONDAY, 10 P.M.
4 - TWO AND A HALF MEN, CBS, MONDAY, 9 P.M.
5 (tie) - LAW & ORDER: CRIMINAL INTENT, NBC, SUNDAY, 9 P.M.
- NCIS, CBS, TUESDAY. 8 P.M.
7 - BRAT CAMP, ABC, WEDNESDAY, 9 P.M.
8 - EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND, CBS, MONDAY, 8:30 P.M.
9 - COLD CASE, CBS, SUNDAY, 8 P.M.
10 - LAW & ORDER, NBC, WEDNESDAY, 10 P.M.

One reality show, two sitcoms, and seven shows from my cop show list above. So let me get this straight, Americans have a shit fit when a female nipple is exposed, but we can't get enough serial killers and autopsies? I'm glad the viewing public has its priorities right.

So what fresh ideas are coming up this fall:

* Bones - forensic show focusing on mastodons, oh just people bones? damn...
* Close To Home - lead character is a prosecutor (hot chick, natch) but this feels like a cop show, not "Boston Legal"
* Criminal Minds - profiler show
* Killer Instinct - show about San Fran's "Deviant Crime Unit" if there is such a thing - I'm sure the show will be tasteful
* The Evidence - duh, forensic show

Hey, I'd keep making 'em too. Bread and circuses. Whatever keeps you TV honchos in coke and fake tits.